MCA #3, Sunday Afternoon

[hatesmostthings]

April did not believe in holidays for getting drunk, because frankly, if you asked her, getting drunk was something to do for the fun of it and not because a holiday told you to. Besides, she wasn't Irish and saw no point in pretending she was. So she was not celebrating St. Patrick's Day today -- in fact, she wasn't even aware that today was it.

What she was doing instead was frying a Pop-Tart, because the internet told her they were especially delicious that way and who was she to argue? She was almost certainly going to burn it, because she didn't really know how to cook, but she didn't mind as long as the smoke detector didn't go off.

Okay, eventually it did go off. But just for a few seconds until she got the windows open. That was good, right?

[[open! come investigate the noise or whathaveyou! thread with jono is last, tho.]]

Comments

[furnaceface]

Jono? Also not Irish, and not even particularly inclined to pretend just so that he'd have an excuse. He could drink with the best of them, Irish or not, and to hell with anybody that decided that his lager wasn't good enough for the holiday.

What he did have today, of course, was a copy of the DVD of Being Frank, and he was going to personally deliver it, along with a case of beer, because there were some people on the island that he didn't need to be responsible around.

... Was that the fire alarm for a moment?

"April? You in there?"

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

Totally not, Jono. You were completely imagining things.

When April opened the door, she had a plate of thoroughly-burnt Pop-Tart in one hand and the other hand on her hip. "Yo," she greeted Jono. "Snack?"

Seriously, the Pop-Tart was completely black.

[furnaceface]

Jono stared at that Pop-Tart for a moment. Stared blankly while he tried to figure out what in the world it was supposed to be.

"... Making bacon in the toaster?"

He had no idea what else could make a Pop-Tart both so thoroughly burned and also impressively greasy like that.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

April thought about correcting him, but she also kind of wanted to freak him out. "Sure," she decided. "It's weirdly good. Try it."

[furnaceface]

"I think I might pass on it just this once," Jono hedged, giving the ... thing... another weird look before just shaking his head. "I've reached my allotted daily intake of charcoal already, sadly."

Which was, of course, none.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Your loss," April pronounced, but she didn't exactly take a bite of it herself, either. "What's up?"

[furnaceface]

"Alcohol," Jono shared, lifting the case of beer he'd brought. "And humiliation."

And then he lifted the DVD.

"They go best together."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"The Consequences of Being Crappy, you mean?" April smirked. "Sweet." With that, she flopped down on the couch in front of her TV, proclaiming, "Let's do it."

[furnaceface]

See? Easiest way to make afternoon plans ever. Jono smirked faintly as he made his way into her apartment, pushing some stuff around on her coffee table to make room for the beer before pulling the DVD out of the case.

"What you're about to witness is the one DVD that has had me seriously wondering if putting on another show in the fall would get me tried on accounts of attempted murder in a court of law."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"So don't," April said with a shrug. "Do something else instead. Like film a zombie movie or something."

[furnaceface]

"... At least if the zombies get themselves gremlin-bit, I can just plead a variation in the zombie plague virus or something," Jono allowed, popping the DVD into the player and then flopping onto the couch beside her. "And no chicken suits."

He'd burned that last one.

It was the only way.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"And with movies, you can reshoot," April added, handing over a pillow. "Plays, you have to suck it up and deal if your star shows up drunk or something."

Ahem.

[furnaceface]

"Not that we had any of that going on," Jono said, in the tone of voice of a man who had seen plenty of that going on. He took the pillow and did his damnedest to keep from sulking. "Perhaps I should've gone into film right from the get-go."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, man," April agreed. "People can eat and drink while they watch movies, too. It's like a combination of all the American values."

Although she had to admit, the recording of the play was pretty funny. Oh, public failure.

[furnaceface]

So, so much public failure. And there he was, failing along with everyone else by extension.

Jono tried not to think about that too hard.

"Funnily enough, I do believe that Americans didn't actually invent eating," he noted, mildly. "But then, I have to concede that you do seem to have the market cornered on eating excessively."

Thanksgiving, what were you.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Doesn't matter," April said. You could totally have values that you didn't invent, after all. "Whoever invented it, we're big fans of it."

[furnaceface]

"Yes, I suppose you are," Jono allowed with a bit of a smirk. "I've been invited to a good many large meals since coming to America, I suppose I'm really in no place to complain. Your family's around Christmas was fantastic, after all."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Damn straight," April agreed. "So encourage good meals by filming a movie."

Logic, Jono.

[furnaceface]

"If nothing else, I'll be supporting the booming popcorn industry," Jonothon added, reaching for a beer and popping the cap off on the corner of the coffee table before raising it in a little salute. "I can't think of a nobler cause."

Jono and popcorn had a bit of a history. Not necessarily a good one, considering so many years being jawless and on fire...

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Beer," April supplied. "Slightly nobler than popcorn."

She kicked her legs up onto the couch beside her, turning to face him. "Seriously, if you want to do a movie, I'll help," she added. "I'm like a hundred and ten percent sure I could play a zombie."

[furnaceface]

"And of that, I have no doubt," Jono replied, smirking a little. "We never did finish our horror film about tiny pageant queens, but the island's population of small girls is also smaller than it once was, too."

He'd said his farewells to the adopted father of one such girl just the other day, after all.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"What did they, like, get eaten by monsters or something?" Whatever, April didn't really care that much. "Could just be a normal movie about normal-sized zombies. With teenagers getting zombied in the woods, like the classics."

[furnaceface]

"Moved away, is all," Jono explained. "And we do have more than enough teenagers running about. Gathering a cast would be easy enough."

He tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Hell, we've even got a castle."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"Also this whole town is weirdly attractive," April chimed in. "That's important in movies."

[furnaceface]

"We'll have the most visually appealing bloody zombies the film industry has ever seen," Jono replied, smirking faintly. "That's got to count for... something?"

Really, if you asked him, zombies were not supposed to be pretty. Ever. At all.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

"So does," April agreed.

After that -- well, she probably hadn't had much to say to elaborate on that, but if she'd had anything in mind at all to chime in, it was pretty much out of the question now, because in a flash and a tumble of Urban Outfitters clothing, April transformed into a mouse.

[furnaceface]

"Er," Jono said, succinctly, as he glanced April's way.

... There was a lot of clothing, mostly. He hadn't yet actually noticed the mouse within it.

"April?"

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

Thoroughly displeased with this turn of events, April-the-mouse wriggled her way out of the pile of clothes and fixed her newly-beady eyes on Jono as if to ask "What the fuck?"

But, you know, in mouse.

[furnaceface]

"... Ah."

Jono was so very eloquent, really.

"You do remember I have a cat, right?" This was not stopping him from holding out his hand and offering her rescue from the clothes pile, no. "Not that I have any intention of leaving you to fend for yourself."

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

April crawled right on into his hand, but she was not happy at all.

Know who else wasn't happy, Jono? Cliff. Cliff wasn't happy, and he was coming over to confusedly sniff at the clothes pile.

Fortunately, however, he was not trying to eat the mouse. So that was something.

[furnaceface]

Tiny mouse AND huge dog? Jono had inherited both of these things for the duration of this animal transformation? He gave Cliff a sideways glance, and then sighed and reached his free hand to pat him on the head.

"Looks like you're coming home with me too, mate," he muttered to the dog. "Don't suppose you know where to find your food and leash around here?"

Sorry, April. Jono was gonna have to ransack your apartment a little in order to keep your large pup from starving.

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

Fortunately enough, Cliff did, and he was smart enough to set off for the cabinet where April usually found those things for him.

April rolled her beady mouse eyes and decided to let Jono find the solution to this problem by himself. She was a little drunk and a rodent, after all. It was naptime.

[furnaceface]

And that was how Jono came to be walking a three-legged pit bull back to the boards with a sleeping mouse in his pocket, and a grocery bag full of dog supplies in the hand that wasn't holding the leash.

"At least," he grumbled under his breath as the dog half-dragged him down the road, "this waited to happen until after the play."